Earlier in this pregnancy, I filled out my “Initial Health History” form for prenatal and birth care. You know: check the box if you’ve experienced severe headaches, diabetes, all sorts of things. After the usual “Emotional abuse,” “Physical abuse,” “Sexual abuse,” I got to this very interesting item: ”ANY unwanted/undesired physical or sexual contact.”
read the link. so spot on.
[trigger warning LIKE WHOA at the link for rape culture, coercion, molestation, and general unwanted attention]
Because I can hardly stand the thought of these constant erosions of personhood seeming normal to our daughters and sons.
Everyone needs to read this.
I know that the concept of “rape culture” can be really hard to understand if you’re new to it or just not quite sure what it entails. It took me a painfully long time to recognize that a lot of my behaviors — jokes, apologia, defending perpetrators, victim-blaming, &c — were contributing in ways I didn’t have the ability to recognize but did have the ability to change. It’s a constant struggle, too, tbh, because the learned habits of a lifetime are still reinforced by society even as I try to unlearn them.
If you’ve ever rolled your eyes at someone being ~hysterical~ or ~humorless~ or ~uptight~ about feminism or rape culture or victim blaming or misogyny or safe spaces or bodily autonomy, or if you’re looking for a way to explain those things to someone else, this essay might help.
man, that made my heart race but it’s so true. i also never check yes on that box because i am afraid what will ensue if i do and also, the “normal” events versus the extreme kind of fade to the back and the extreme has been awhile. wow.
I always think that if we did the stats for unwanted/undesired physical contact it would come out to 100%. I know I’ve learned to ignore so much as “normal” that really is incredibly inappropriate.
Yes. This. All of this.
Your body is not for you.