sanaa-tamir:

Have I ever had “ANY unwanted/undesired physical or sexual contact”?

ceepolk:

karnythia:

strugglingtobeheard:

thirddeadlysin:

aimsme:

face-down-asgard-up:

moniquill:

thebaddominicana:

Earlier in this pregnancy, I filled out my “Initial Health History” form for prenatal and birth care. You know: check the box if you’ve experienced severe headaches, diabetes, all sorts of things. After the usual “Emotional abuse,” “Physical abuse,” “Sexual abuse,” I got to this very interesting item: ”ANY unwanted/undesired physical or sexual contact.”

read the link. so spot on.

[trigger warning LIKE WHOA at the link for rape culture, coercion, molestation, and general unwanted attention]

Because I can hardly stand the thought of these constant erosions of personhood seeming normal to our daughters and sons.

READ THIS

Everyone needs to read this.

I know that the concept of “rape culture” can be really hard to understand if you’re new to it or just not quite sure what it entails. It took me a painfully long time to recognize that a lot of my behaviors — jokes, apologia, defending perpetrators, victim-blaming, &c — were contributing in ways I didn’t have the ability to recognize but did have the ability to change. It’s a constant struggle, too, tbh, because the learned habits of a lifetime are still reinforced by society even as I try to unlearn them.

If you’ve ever rolled your eyes at someone being ~hysterical~ or ~humorless~ or ~uptight~ about feminism or rape culture or victim blaming or misogyny or safe spaces or bodily autonomy, or if you’re looking for a way to explain those things to someone else, this essay might help.

man, that made my heart race but it’s so true. i also never check yes on that box because i am afraid what will ensue if i do and also, the “normal” events versus the extreme kind of fade to the back and the extreme has been awhile. wow.

I always think that if we did the stats for unwanted/undesired physical contact it would come out to 100%. I know I’ve learned to ignore so much as “normal” that really is incredibly inappropriate.

Yes. This. All of this.

Your body is not for you.

Horribly true.

(Source: manifestfreedom, via sanaa-tamir-is-leaving-deactiva)

"Even if we put aside the question of fetal personhood and assume that a fetus should have the same rights as a born human being, giving that fetus the right to use another person’s body for its surivval would give it privileges that born people do not have. In no other case is a person legally compelled to use their body and their internal organs to sustain another’s life. We do not require parents to donate kidneys or even blood to their children, and we do not require anyone to be a good Samaritan and risk their life or health for another. It is difficult to imagine a case in which we would legally require a father to keep his child physically attached to his body, using his organs for survival, physically impairing him, and requiring him to miss work and possibly undergo surgery, for nearly ten months.
It would be difficult to make the case that the child (or full-grown adult) has a right to use their father’s body for survival. Yet this is exactly what opponents of abortion rights argue— except the body in question is female,"

Offensive Feminism, Jill Filipovic (via hymnsuponyourlips-)

This is SO useful.  Great analysis.

(via honestandunapologetic)

Conservatives, go home. You’ve lost this one.

(via dank-potion)

Not always a female body but otherwise OH FUCK YES

(via caffeinatedfeminist)

Fuck no.

I mean, fuck yeah for the first couple sentences or so, but then it’s like, “IF IT WAS A FATHER’S BODY NOBODY WOULD SAY ANYTHING LIKE THIS” and umm. Yes. Yes, they would. And they have, even to the point of demanding that said father detransition in order to give birth and raise his kid “correctly”.

Of course, then I got to the bottom and saw who said it, and was like “oh.” I really need to stop being surprised when cis feminists write shit like this.

(via kiriamaya)

I admit I checked out who was writing before I read it all and thus just was totally unsurprised with what I read.  I’m so tired of reading cis feminists who are all ‘We don’t require men to give up their body autonomy!’ while not only do trans men have to do so just like cis women do only with added transphobia but all trans people are expected to give up their body autonomy to insure cis people remain sure that their bodies are the standard for all bodies.  And how disabled people lose their body autonomy.  And how people of colour…  Need I go on?  Lack of body autonomy: it’s not just for privileged white cis women.

(Source: shaneschecters, via telegantmess)

kiriamaya:

I love (and by “love”, I mean “despise with the fury of a thousand suns”) when people try to use BIID as an analogy for why they don’t support trans people. “Well, some people feel they need to cut off their limbs, and that’s tragic, and how is your situation any different?”

I love (genuinely) the looks on their faces when I tell them that, if people need to cut off their limbs in order to feel okay in their body, that is their right and their business. And also, that it’s ableist and jerkfaced to call such conditions a “tragedy”.

And it continues to stun me that most people — even most ostensibly “pro-choice” people — don’t think that way. It stuns me that such a basic ethical premise is considered radical, radical enough that people who take control of their own bodies are condemned as “perverted” and/or “crazy”.

Which is all the more reason for us to do it, to own our bodies and modify them (or not) however we choose.

I reblogged something a while ago about how the fact that it’s called ‘pro-choice’ shows the very bankruptcy of the way that abortion is framed.  Body autonomy is not respected, it’s not considered something that we have.

"If we critically assess the assumptions behind both positions, it is clear that these camps are more similar than they are different. As I have argued, they both assume a criminal justice regime for adjudicating reproductive issues (although they may differ as to which women should be subjected to this regime). Neither position endows women with inherent rights to their body—the pro-life position pits fetal rights against women’s rights whereas the pro-choice position argues that women should have freedom to make choices rather than possess inherent rights to their bodies regardless of their class standing. They both support positions that reinforce racial and gender hierarchies that marginalize women of color. The pro-life position supports a criminalization approach that depends on a racist political system that will necessarily impact poor women and women of color who are less likely to have alternative strategies for addressing unwanted pregnancies. Meanwhile, the pro-choice position often supports population control policies and the development of dangerous contraceptives that are generally targeted toward communities of color. And both positions do not question the capitalist system—they focus solely on the decision of whether or not a woman should have an abortion without addressing the economic, political, and social conditions that put women in this position in the first place."

Excerpt from “Beyond Pro-Choice Versus Pro-Life: Women of Color and Reproductive Justice” by Andrea Smith.

*Pregnant people, not just women. I think this quote is incredibly important because it addresses the fact that neither the antichoice position nor the mainstream prochoice position spearheaded by capital “f” Feminists and wealthy white women challenge the status quo. Ultimately we have become complacent to the anti-woman, anti-child, anti-family policies put in place by Republicans and Democrats alike. We’ve become resigned to the fact that the Hyde Amendment is the norm despite the fact that it effectively makes “choice” unobtainable for many poor pregnant people and pregnant people of color. We are working within the current capitalist, political paradigm rather than demanding more. And lastly, we are framing a life and death debate with the rhetoric of “choice” rather than “rights.” 

(via prolongedeyecontact)

All of this.  The idea that we are allowed to maybe have access to our own bodies instead of owning them outright is one of the worst things to come out of all kinds of strains of political thought.  And if you see how this affects trans people, intersex people, children, disabled people, and so many more, you get bonus points.  Body autonomy for everyone.

(via lipsredasroses)

lizardwalk:

guerrillamamamedicine:

Doula Right Thing: About Purportedly Gendered Body Parts

About Purportedly Gendered Body Parts

I have been thinking about how much I would like it if people, especially health practitioners,
exercise instructors and others who talk about bodies a lot,…

Re point no 1: we also need to examine and break down assumptions about what those terms actually refer to - about what is, for eg, “really” a clitoris or “really” a penis, or “really” a scrotum or “really” labia, and so on.  Don’t assume that someone who has a body part that YOU would identify as (for eg) a penis, a vagina etc actually HAS that body part.  I see a lot of nonconsensual labelling of body parts even from people who wouldn’t describe someone as “female-bodied” or “a bioboy”.

Don’t assume that trans man “has a vagina” because that’s how you’ve been taught by cissexist systems how to identify genitals that fall within a certain spectrum of structures.  Don’t assume that trans woman’s clitoris “is really a penis”.  Don’t assume you know how to describe that non-binary person’s genitals within a cissexist and binarist dyadic model.

Don’t. Ever. Assume.

(via indigoferarchived)

Shape and Form

tybaar:

A recent message prompted me to delve into another issue that’s been rattling around in my head.

Our bodies are odd things. For trans people, we know this, most likely, more intimately and painfully than anyone.

We grow up with everyone hating our physiology.  This is a blanket statement, mind you but oftentimes this is frankly how we are made to feel.  We experience being invalidated, feared and hated by those around us as we express and attempt to desperately carve out some semblance of identity, and ultimately end up being our own worst enemies in the process.

Indeed, internalized self hatred becomes - for many of us - a constant reality.  And why not? The ironic thing is that experiencing transphobia from others soon becomes secondary, because no matter how many times people insult us and invalidate us we know intimately that we can do so much worse to ourselves.  And probably have.

So coming to terms with the shape of our flesh is a process that, as trans folk, is often the most painful thing we have to do.  Which is why I am always hesitant to utter the truth of these next words:

I love my body.

I love her shape and form.

I love watching the ongoing changes that have taken place in her.

And I love that I finally get to feel at home in her.

Let’s be clear here, dysphoria is an awful thing and we all experience it in some form. I periodically still do and I hold no illusions that it will ever truly “go away”.  However that does not mean that the internal conflicts I experience and the changes that I felt were necessary to make to my physiology are the defining characteristic of who I am.

This touches on another misconstrued stereotype of trans folk in general: The idea that we “become” something else.  That we were once one person and during our transition our “former self dies” and we are suddenly completely different people.  You can see this phenomenon quite a bit in families, where one member transitions and the others will mourn the loss of the person that they view is now gone from their lives.

Which is ludicrous because we are still the same people, only now we actually get to show others our full selves that we kept muted for so long. When I was younger, my personality was a mere shadow of who I am, and what I showed the world was only tiny bits of the person I kept stuffed away inside. The only difference between the life I used to live and the one I lead now is my ability to feel unrestrained. Free. Vivid.

Alive.

I am still the same person, I am simply now just finally allowed to truly be seen as I’ve always seen myself, and therefore ultimately feel in sync. and that nature of being truly in tune with the world around me is more beautiful than I could have ever possibly imagined.

It’s what I can only assume that cis people feel, subconsciously and unknowingly every day of their lives.

And so, when I capture images of myself in an intimate nature and put them up here I don’t do it out of a sense of erotic thrill, or validation, or in any way to compare myself competitively to others’ bodies. I do it simply because I know more than anything what it is to feel an existence where everyone including myself has beaten into my brain that my body and my transition are shameful, exotic, perverted things that need to be kept secret and tucked away.

And I say that’s bullshit.

….plus, I’m pretty effin’ hot.

Brilliant.  Another must read for cis people and trans people alike.

"I don’t understand why you have to change your body. I like to be natural."

thecuntmentality:

iragray:

I get some variation of the above statement when I explain my medical transition and my trans* identity to folks.

My question to you is this: 

What makes my mind any more or less natural than my body? What makes accomplishing my desires and needs unnatural?

Commentary. The amount of competition within the trans* community over who is right or wrong is saddening. There is nothing unnatural about wanting to change your body nor keeping your body unchanged. Also, if you start a sentence with “I don’t understand,” and if it’s relating to another person’s life or how they lead it, you should probably just shut up and listen instead of forcing your ideals onto them. Making and forcing an opinion over something that you’ve openly admitted that you fail to understand is the most annoying and ignorant things ever.

Love,

Taylor

(Source: iragray)

image

buckangel:

This is very interesting-Someone left this comment on my website BuckAngel.com-On my “Photo of The day”- “I don’t mean to be disrespectful but it seems odd to me you don’t change all the way? Why be 50/50? Why not be one or the other, regardless of life? It just seems almost contradictory to be male but enjoy ur female parts, just saying. Hypocritical?”-

What do you think?

Woof!

Buck Angel

Parts on a male are male parts, not female parts.  This is simple cissexism, the idea that trans bodies must look exactly like cis bodies before they’re allowed to be valid.  The idea that we can’t enjoy our bodies as trans people in whatever ways we find enjoyable is just nonsense sex-negativity and an attempt to shame us for our bodies.

"Even if all fat people are the way they are due to their bad choices, even if every single fat person is unhealthy, that does not justify sub-standard treatment. How can the health of strangers possibly inspire such vitriol? If you remain convinced that others’ bodies are your business and people must justify their existence to you, perhaps you should consider the possibility that you are an arsehole."

— Frances Lockie (via fabslorialet)

(Source: clownyprincess, via jemimaaslana)

image

victorianaaa:

lowercasejae:

I want this in poster form.

<3

Heather Freeman’s (artist) website: http://www.fireseastudios.com/livingartist/?p=1251

(Source: darbysouth)

image

pastimperfection:

nowisgreater:

hypnotoad42:

I can’t read the rest of the image, but it seems like if you’re TRYING to bind and find it physically difficult, you’re JUST AS TRANS as someone that does bind.  However, if you just don’t want to then it means you are either really good at blocking out parts of your body you don’t like / don’t want to think about, or you’re not really trans.

Thankfully, you do not get to decide who is “really trans” or not. The only person who gets to say who is trans and who is not is each person themselves.

There are trans guys who love their breasts. One of my best friends has been on T for years and has no plans to get top surgery because he likes being a guy with breasts. Sometimes he wears a binder, sometimes he wears nothing under his shirt at all, sometimes he wears push-up bras. There are also trans guys who don’t love their breasts, but are okay with them.

Hating your body is not a requirement for being trans.

To the secret-maker, there is no such thing as “not trans enough”. Whether you bind or not, present as male or female, the fact that you are trans doesn’t change.

Yes, text color fail!

Vague unformed thoughts etc., but it’s been really interesting lately how dissonance/dysphoria have been coopted by cissexist arbiters and turned into a kind of tax on autonomy.  If you don’t hate your body, you’re not really trans.  If you don’t hate your body in a particular way, you’re not really trans.  If you have complex ideas about how to process dissonance/dysphoria, you’re not really trans and also possibly crazy.  

And then, of course, If you are trans, you must hate your body.  If you are trans, you must hate your body in a particular way.  If you are trans, you cannot possibly have complex feelings about your body or about the way other people react to it.  

And then, naturally, why do you hate your body so much?  Can’t you just stop hating your body?  Don’t you think it’s regressive to encourage these feelings?  Why do you need to mutilate yourself?  

Reblogged for added commentary.  I don’t hate my body.  I just wanted it to be shaped differently.

image

nowisgreater:

hypnotoad42:

I can’t read the rest of the image, but it seems like if you’re TRYING to bind and find it physically difficult, you’re JUST AS TRANS as someone that does bind.  However, if you just don’t want to then it means you are either really good at blocking out parts of your body you don’t like / don’t want to think about, or you’re not really trans.

Thankfully, you do not get to decide who is “really trans” or not. The only person who gets to say who is trans and who is not is each person themselves.

There are trans guys who love their breasts. One of my best friends has been on T for years and has no plans to get top surgery because he likes being a guy with breasts. Sometimes he wears a binder, sometimes he wears nothing under his shirt at all, sometimes he wears push-up bras. There are also trans guys who don’t love their breasts, but are okay with them.

Hating your body is not a requirement for being trans.

To the secret-maker, there is no such thing as “not trans enough”. Whether you bind or not, present as male or female, the fact that you are trans doesn’t change.

image