Fifteen Minutes To Fame

sanaa-tamir:

Have I ever had “ANY unwanted/undesired physical or sexual contact”?

ceepolk:

karnythia:

strugglingtobeheard:

thirddeadlysin:

aimsme:

face-down-asgard-up:

moniquill:

thebaddominicana:

Earlier in this pregnancy, I filled out my “Initial Health History” form for prenatal and birth care. You know: check the box if you’ve experienced severe headaches, diabetes, all sorts of things. After the usual “Emotional abuse,” “Physical abuse,” “Sexual abuse,” I got to this very interesting item: ”ANY unwanted/undesired physical or sexual contact.”

read the link. so spot on.

[trigger warning LIKE WHOA at the link for rape culture, coercion, molestation, and general unwanted attention]

Because I can hardly stand the thought of these constant erosions of personhood seeming normal to our daughters and sons.

READ THIS

Everyone needs to read this.

I know that the concept of “rape culture” can be really hard to understand if you’re new to it or just not quite sure what it entails. It took me a painfully long time to recognize that a lot of my behaviors — jokes, apologia, defending perpetrators, victim-blaming, &c — were contributing in ways I didn’t have the ability to recognize but did have the ability to change. It’s a constant struggle, too, tbh, because the learned habits of a lifetime are still reinforced by society even as I try to unlearn them.

If you’ve ever rolled your eyes at someone being ~hysterical~ or ~humorless~ or ~uptight~ about feminism or rape culture or victim blaming or misogyny or safe spaces or bodily autonomy, or if you’re looking for a way to explain those things to someone else, this essay might help.

man, that made my heart race but it’s so true. i also never check yes on that box because i am afraid what will ensue if i do and also, the “normal” events versus the extreme kind of fade to the back and the extreme has been awhile. wow.

I always think that if we did the stats for unwanted/undesired physical contact it would come out to 100%. I know I’ve learned to ignore so much as “normal” that really is incredibly inappropriate.

Yes. This. All of this.

Your body is not for you.

Horribly true.

(Source: manifestfreedom, via sanaa-tamir-is-leaving-deactiva)

kiriamaya:

I love (and by “love”, I mean “despise with the fury of a thousand suns”) when people try to use BIID as an analogy for why they don’t support trans people. “Well, some people feel they need to cut off their limbs, and that’s tragic, and how is your situation any different?”

I love (genuinely) the looks on their faces when I tell them that, if people need to cut off their limbs in order to feel okay in their body, that is their right and their business. And also, that it’s ableist and jerkfaced to call such conditions a “tragedy”.

And it continues to stun me that most people — even most ostensibly “pro-choice” people — don’t think that way. It stuns me that such a basic ethical premise is considered radical, radical enough that people who take control of their own bodies are condemned as “perverted” and/or “crazy”.

Which is all the more reason for us to do it, to own our bodies and modify them (or not) however we choose.

I reblogged something a while ago about how the fact that it’s called ‘pro-choice’ shows the very bankruptcy of the way that abortion is framed.  Body autonomy is not respected, it’s not considered something that we have.

Shape and Form

tybaar:

A recent message prompted me to delve into another issue that’s been rattling around in my head.

Our bodies are odd things. For trans people, we know this, most likely, more intimately and painfully than anyone.

We grow up with everyone hating our physiology.  This is a blanket statement, mind you but oftentimes this is frankly how we are made to feel.  We experience being invalidated, feared and hated by those around us as we express and attempt to desperately carve out some semblance of identity, and ultimately end up being our own worst enemies in the process.

Indeed, internalized self hatred becomes - for many of us - a constant reality.  And why not? The ironic thing is that experiencing transphobia from others soon becomes secondary, because no matter how many times people insult us and invalidate us we know intimately that we can do so much worse to ourselves.  And probably have.

So coming to terms with the shape of our flesh is a process that, as trans folk, is often the most painful thing we have to do.  Which is why I am always hesitant to utter the truth of these next words:

I love my body.

I love her shape and form.

I love watching the ongoing changes that have taken place in her.

And I love that I finally get to feel at home in her.

Let’s be clear here, dysphoria is an awful thing and we all experience it in some form. I periodically still do and I hold no illusions that it will ever truly “go away”.  However that does not mean that the internal conflicts I experience and the changes that I felt were necessary to make to my physiology are the defining characteristic of who I am.

This touches on another misconstrued stereotype of trans folk in general: The idea that we “become” something else.  That we were once one person and during our transition our “former self dies” and we are suddenly completely different people.  You can see this phenomenon quite a bit in families, where one member transitions and the others will mourn the loss of the person that they view is now gone from their lives.

Which is ludicrous because we are still the same people, only now we actually get to show others our full selves that we kept muted for so long. When I was younger, my personality was a mere shadow of who I am, and what I showed the world was only tiny bits of the person I kept stuffed away inside. The only difference between the life I used to live and the one I lead now is my ability to feel unrestrained. Free. Vivid.

Alive.

I am still the same person, I am simply now just finally allowed to truly be seen as I’ve always seen myself, and therefore ultimately feel in sync. and that nature of being truly in tune with the world around me is more beautiful than I could have ever possibly imagined.

It’s what I can only assume that cis people feel, subconsciously and unknowingly every day of their lives.

And so, when I capture images of myself in an intimate nature and put them up here I don’t do it out of a sense of erotic thrill, or validation, or in any way to compare myself competitively to others’ bodies. I do it simply because I know more than anything what it is to feel an existence where everyone including myself has beaten into my brain that my body and my transition are shameful, exotic, perverted things that need to be kept secret and tucked away.

And I say that’s bullshit.

….plus, I’m pretty effin’ hot.

Brilliant.  Another must read for cis people and trans people alike.

“I don’t understand why you have to change your body. I like to be natural.”

thecuntmentality:

iragray:

I get some variation of the above statement when I explain my medical transition and my trans* identity to folks.

My question to you is this: 

What makes my mind any more or less natural than my body? What makes accomplishing my desires and needs unnatural?

Commentary. The amount of competition within the trans* community over who is right or wrong is saddening. There is nothing unnatural about wanting to change your body nor keeping your body unchanged. Also, if you start a sentence with “I don’t understand,” and if it’s relating to another person’s life or how they lead it, you should probably just shut up and listen instead of forcing your ideals onto them. Making and forcing an opinion over something that you’ve openly admitted that you fail to understand is the most annoying and ignorant things ever.

Love,

Taylor

(Source: iragray)